I think living a happy life is something that we all crave. Even though we all want different things, we have different dreams and goals, we can all agree that above all we wish to be Happy. Then comes the rest: love, health, success, money, confidence… and the list goes on.
For the last couple of years, this is my go-to wish. “I wish to be Happy”.
But now that I look back, these last few months I’m actually living a happy life. And I can tell you it wasn’t because of my wishes, it was because I decided that this is my life goal. I decided that no matter what I will try my best and improve myself to achieve that.
It wasn’t an easy process, and I’m still working on many things, but there are four important things that really make a huge difference. Some of them are kinda hard to do, but the more you work on them the better results you’ll get and you’ll actually see differences in your life.
Now, in case you’re wondering why am I sharing all these with you, let me tell you… I think that every single person in this world deserves a happy life. However, we often forget that. We see so much hate around us, so much pain, and we forget that life is full of opportunities. Of course, it has its ups and downs but in the end, it’s up to us and the way we choose to see the world.
“Remember happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.” -Dale Carnegie
So it doesn’t matter how old are you, or your past, or your gender, or anything.. you CAN really have a happy life and I would love to help you with that!
I wanted to make sure that you’ll really get something out of this post, so that’s why I added a small action for you to do for each one of the habits below. It’s not something hard, so I really want you to try them out and tell me your results!
4 Essential Habits for a Happier Life
This is the most important thing for me. We mostly complain about what we don’t have and we’re not grateful for what we actually have. We take most things for granted. And this is the worst thing we can ever do. Before we even realize it we become ungrateful.
And when you’re ungrateful for what you already have there’s no chance you will ever get more. Change that feeling. If you want something badly, like let’s say new clothes, be grateful for the clothes you already have. Because I bet that there are some clothes that you really love and you should be grateful for having them, even if they are old-fashioned.
There are a lot of things to be grateful. But it’s not about just saying “Thank you”, you have to feel it deep down in your heart. Appreciate every little thing. Be grateful for your eyes, cause you’re able to see wonderful things, and read and have amazing experiences and memories all thanks to your eyes! When was the last time you said “thank you” to your eyes?
What about your voice? You’re able to express your feelings and talk with people, and say what you think, what you want. You can let people know that you’re grateful for them and make them feel special! You can let people know that you love them and that will also make them feel special! This is amazing, right? You got the power to make someone feel special! Shouldn’t you be grateful for that?
What about your ears? You’re able to listen to amazing music through them and listen to your family, or your special someone, or your children or your friends saying you that they love you! That you’re beautiful and special! Shouldn’t you be grateful for that?
As you can see there are many things to be grateful that are so powerful and you already have them, but you just never stopped and said: “Thank you”. And not just a simple thank you, but “Thank you for this, this and that”. I swear, it will make you feel so much better.
Action: When you wake up in the morning, right after you get up from the bed, before you move, before you do a single thing, say “Thank you” for being alive and feel it deep inside your heart.
2. Stop Complaining.
Complaining is something we do on a daily basis. The traffic, the weather, your children, your friends, a movie you saw and didn’t like, something your boss said to you, some waiter that messed up your order, and the list goes on and on.
The thing is, you bring in your life what you’re thinking of the most. And a lot of people are complaining about what isn’t going well in their lives and what they don’t want to happen. But when you’re thinking this way, you attract more negative things into your life. And then you complaining again about them and more negative things happen. Before you realize it, you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of negativity.
When you’re in this vicious cycle of negativity you attract not only negative things but negative people too. Have you ever noticed that negative and angry people always find something to complain and they are always unhappy? They have negative vibes. This is what they give and this is what they attract. More unhappy and negative people to complain about their lives altogether.
So how do you break that cycle? First of all, you have to “mind-shift”. Change what you’re thinking at that moment. Start thinking about something else. Most of the times it can be hard, but what never failed me is counting backwards. Whenever something bad happens to me, or I get angry about something, I pause for a moment and I start counting backwards from 50 to 0. This way I’m focused on counting, and I’m trying to kinda “relax” my mind. Then I’m trying to change my vibe. First of all, there’s nothing good coming out from complaining, like ever. And the only thing I’m getting from this is feeling bad. It just doesn’t worth it. Then I’m focusing on being grateful for something. Listening to some music that I love, or watching a fun video.
I won’t lie to you. This is not an easy task. I keep losing control over this sometimes but I never stop trying. When I first started working on this a friend suggested me to keep a journal about it. About how many times I complained about something each and every day and why. Then I reviewed my journal every night, and I wrote down what I could do, so I would avoid complaining next time I would be in the same situation!
Action: Next time you will caught yourself complaining about something say out loud “No. Stop.” And start counting backwards. Then try to change your mind doing something relaxing and fun.
3. Move on (accept your past)
It’s impossible to keep moving forward when you’re facing backwards. I didn’t have the best memories from my past, and I bet some of you don’t also. Many of you might have a really disturbing past with awful experiences, but here you stand.
First of all, you survived. I remember a quote that said: “You will never realize how strong you are when being strong is your only choice.” And if you’re reading this and you’re here now, it means that you survived and that you’re strong no matter what happened in your past.
Now that you’ve acknowledged that, you have to make peace with your past. And this is one of the most difficult things to do. When my parents divorced I had so much hate inside me. I hated my father because I thought he was responsible for this and I kept telling it to myself every single day. This was eating me up. Every time that someone was talking about him I was filled with so much hate. I was even wishing bad things to happen to him all because I was blind from anger.
When I decided to change my life, I knew I had to put an end on this. To clear things up and move on. So I called him (and it felt terrifying at that moment.. I was truly shaking!), I said I was sorry for all the bad things I’ve said, and I instantly felt “lighter” and “cleaner”. I don’t know how else to describe this feeling. But it wasn’t only that. I realized that each one of us is responsible for their actions. If someone will try to harm you that’s their problem. What you should do is to be careful with your reaction to that.
We all have our experiences. Either good or bad, they built us to what we are today. Never regret anything that happened in your life because it made you who you are. If even one small detail was different you wouldn’t be the exact same person you are today. And now you will tell me, “but I could be better!” Who told you that you can’t be better now? What’s stopping you? There’s nothing stopping you cause everything is possible in the world we live in.
Action: Make a list of what’s holding you in the past. Be honest. Try to find the good in every past situation, because there’s always something good. You either learned a life lesson or helped you become stronger today. Whatever it is, find it. It’s a great way to start making peace with your past.
4. Love yourself
Actually, be in love with yourself. Let’s say that you have this awesome relationship with your significant other and you’re so in love, and you’re taking care of each other, and you’re going out for romantic dinners, you just love him so much! Okay, this is how you should feel about yourself.
You might be laughing right now, but you are the best thing that ever happened to you. Go to the mirror and look at yourself. This person right there is with you since your first breath and will be there until the last one. No one will ever get to know you this well as this person in the mirror. This person has been there through your worst times and your best times. This person has listened to all these conversations you’re doing in your mind, knows every little thought of you, knows every secret of yours. You will be together for a lifetime!
So how are you treating this person? Shouldn’t this person come first of all? And this isn’t selfish. First, you have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of others. Are you healthy? Are you eating well? Do you get enough sleep? How are you treating your skin? Your hair? Do you have some quality free time? Do you take some time off to unwind and just relax? You have to treat yourself as better as you can. Because it all starts from YOU and from this person in the mirror.
Action: Every morning go to the mirror and say out loud “I love you, and I accept you exactly as you are. You’re beautiful”
*About this action, I wasn’t really feeling it when I started doing it but I kept doing it every single day. In almost two weeks, I started seeing myself differently. So I urge you to do it even if it sounds “silly” and try to be consistent with it. I promise you it’s worth it.
I really want to help you all with this. When I started to see my life changing, I felt so motivated to help others on this too. The feeling is absolutely incredible. Sure there will be ups and downs, but once you have these four things in mind, everything becomes easier. There’s no reason to struggle.
Life is like a business. It’s 20 percent what happens to you, and 80 percent how you respond to that. Believe it or not, it’s all about your attitude and your thoughts in your head. So if you’re not happy with your life right now, change your attitude and your thinking! Try to nourish your mind with gratitude, learn to love yourself, focus on the positive, quit complaining, and just make peace with your past! Trust me it’s such a great way to start changing your life for the better and I guarantee that you’ll feel happier in just a few days!
Have you ever tried to apply one of these habits in your life? I would love to know your thoughts in the comments!
If you enjoyed reading this post you might as well have a look on my #MondayMotivation series:
BONUS: Quotes Recap (for you to post them through your social media, and use them any way you like!)